The Life of Skydiving
10 jumps. Thats it. This is a fucking cruel sport. I did my second solo jump on Saturday, jumped, tumbled, regained, wobbled a bit though still mostly stable, then popped my canopy at 4,500ft. I was pissed off at myself for the tumbling exit. Then misjudged the wind and cruised way too far down the airfield, meaning the golf buggy had to come and pick me up. Touch perfect landing, though, flared, walked on landing - really sweet. I probably don't need to tell you that I was hungover (c'mon I'd finished my first AFF and done my first solo the day before) but instead of the jump 'clearing my head' it actually confused it more.
The scary thing about skydiving isn't the falling through the air or the ride under the canopy, that stuff's fun. The scary thing is getting back on the ground and having the balls to say 'I want to be on the next load.' The longer you leave it (which I have been for money reasons) the more the 'Whys and the what-ifs' set it in. Why Jump out of a plane? What if I couldn't recover from that last tumble? What if I panic and pull too late?
I decided to go for some more time in the tunnel with Steve Blincoe. He was also teaching a bloke called James how to sit fly too. (I still can't believe I'm getting this guy to teach me 90deg turns - in that tunnel he can pull off just about any move in a three-dimensional plane you can think off.
Anyway, I know I can arch, and I know the more confident I am at that, the more confident I'll be up in the sky. The tunnel is a wicked place to learn and us great fun to learn in too. I defy anyone to go and not have an absolute blast.
James sit flying.
I got back to the DZ and kept thinking about the 'what ifs' of skydiving. I didn't realise how much of a head-fuck this sport is. It is all mental. Once the first-jump adrenalin wears off and the trumpets fade from the initial AFF classes, all thats left is me and planet earth charging towards each other at 120mph. A scary thought, especially as a) no one is making me do this and b) no one is there to catch me if it all goes wrong.
Thus I decided to have another coach jump to increase my confidence and my safety factor. Jump number 10. A good number to bow out on. I've been here, done it, its not for me. I can't take the constant pressure of the insecurities of the down-time. I'll let you into a secret as long as you promise not to tell anybody.... I've been for a poo more times a day every day in the last week than I have at any point in my life.
And so to jump 10. I almost didn't do it. I could feel my bottle going while I was watching the other diver's videos. I really didn't want to go. Steve B said to me "Is the problem with your arch?" I said "No. The problem is with the size of my balls." Fuck it. I got a bolt of something from somewhere and next thing I know I'm at 5000ft ascending to altitude with Zak. We crossed through a layer of cloud. Shit. Cloud. I was really scared. Last jump I thought. You wont be scared after this. Just make the 10 and then respectfully bow out. I'd heard so many Skydivers say 'If it doesn't feel right, then don't do it. Its meant to be fun.' I was scared. I didn't feel right. Mind you, 'I've also heard as many, if not more skydivers say "I'm still scared and I've got x jumps.'
13,500ft, doors open. I wanted to sit it out. Go back down in the plane. But I'm the first one out. Breathe. Zak asked if the camera was working. Yes, time to go. Don't worry about being scared, I only learnt this time last week. Jump 10, last one. As I got to the door I feared the tumble, Prop, Up, Down, Arch! Arms up, Head back, hips, legs....
Fuck, I remember this, this is great fun... Almost as soon as I was out the plane I got stable. Of course. I've spent fucking ages in the wind tunnel and done 9 previous jumps.
Turn to Zak, Dock, 90deg left, hey cool - a P-59 Mustang... I didn't jump out of that? 90 deg right, dock, 360 right and left. WOO-HOOOO! Ooh hang on, haven't done this before. Whoa, that cloud is coming up really fast. Actually, Whoa, that industrial haze is coming up really fast (we're not allowed to jump through cloud). A couple of short breaths later I was through and giggling. 180 deg and Track away from Zak with his camera for 4,500ft deploy. Damn it looked cool!
Landed like a sack of spuds though, I was trying to look cool for the camera and thought I'd do a nice long flare into land. But I did it too high and had to do a PLF (parachute landing fall) which was pretty embarrassing (ask me to show you the video one day.)
Anyway, I called Zak a shit. I was quite happy to leave it well alone and now I felt on top of the world again. I blamed him for making me love life again so much. I decided there and then that I should either take up Heroin for a cheaper easier hit or that maybe it isn't time to retire.
(By the way, the Mustang definitely shouldn't have been in our airspace and it spooked and annoyed a couple of the more experienced divers. I thought it was cool, I've never seen one fly past at that angle before!)
Jump 11. Sunset load from the Casa, rear entry/exit aircraft.
13,500ft the tail opened and as people started disappearing in front of me, that feeling of sick fear sat heavy at the top of my chest. What if, what if, what if. Remember the last sunset load Zak was there to recover me. What if I tumble now? Hang on.... of course I'm gonna tumble, I'm diving out of an aircraft I haven't jumped from before, and from the back not the side. And I've got 60 seconds to recover. What a Tart. How long have you spent in a wind tunnel? Green Light, Tumble, arch. Wow. You haven't seen a sunset until you've seen it reflected in three-dimensions off the sky, planet earth and that cloud you're rushing past. Add that to the golden light shimmering off a thousand lakes for miles around and you'll maybe have a vague idea of how beautiful it was.... Deployed canopy, fun ride down then flared and landed so softly it would've made Tinkerbell jealous.
I fucking love this sport.
