What the hell am I doing drinking in LA? (at 23)
I arrived in LAX which was cool because I've seen it in a bunch of films.
In the cab to my hostel it felt unreal as everything in LA seems to have been in films at some point. It has that exact same hazy yellow sunshine on concrete and palm trees as the films portray.
Its a pretty strange place for me too, as after 6 months of travel, I now don't have the Queen watching over me on the money and I also have to look the other way before crossing the road. Its a tough habit to kick.
Anyway, when I got settled in, I went out to the Greyhound depot to book my ticket to San Francisco on Friday. My hostel is between Sunset and Hollywood Boulevard. As I blearily wandered down the road, I realised I've never wanted so many people not to talk to me! Maybe its because I've spent so long in quiet islolated places that I've lost my Romford wits when it comes to dealing with fruitloops.
Hollywood Boulevard seems to be filled with the kind of characters you never really see in most of the films about America. Is he talking into his hands-free kit? No. Hes just talking to himself. And me. Really? You told them Washington was a target? Yes God save the Queen. Yes and the president. Cuck-koo.
I spent the rest of the afternoon hiding in the TV room watching films on cable. Just call me Irony-boy.
Next day at breakfast (free coffee and pancakes with rasberry syrup) I got chatting to a bloke called Rob from Northern Ireland and we decided it made much more sense to go wandering together.
We wandered up Sunset Blvd for a while and couldn't quite see what was so amazing about the place until we realised its famous for being the street where Hugh Grant picked up Divine Brown. From what i've seen, that seems to sum up the places in LA. They're only famous because something showbiz happened there, rather than because they're any good.
Anyway, we wandered back up Hollywood Blvd and went to the 'Hollywood Entertainment Museum' which had the bridge set from Star Trek:TNG, Mulder's office from 'the X-Files' and the whole bar set from 'Cheers'.
After that we went to the Mann Chinese Theatre and saw all the hand prints in concrete and the theatre itself.
We went in and saw a film called S.W.A.T with Samuel L Jackson. It was a bit like 'Top Gun' but with cops.
We then explored, and had dinner in a place called Babylon Court. Its a shopping centre with some huge aspirations.
Er. I mean huge elephants.
Trying to find a bar afterwards, we passed the 'Scientology Test Center.' Where I could have a free personality test! We answered 200 tick box questions about how we view life. Then I did an IQ, then aptitude test.
I have an IQ of 131 which is pretty good as genius starts at about 140! Especially as I've found myself get more stupid (I haven't been using my rain much)since I've been traveling! I scored 83% in my aptitude test aswell which is cool as the average is 65%.
The big one though was the personality test. I had a nice steady sine wave of a pattern through the different aspects of my life peaking on confidence, then trophing on stubborness (-20/100 fair enough) and happiness(-10/100). I think my exact response to that, (inbetween my laughing) may have included the word 'bollocks.' Apparently my happiness level could be increased by buying the latest life helping Scientology book which L Ron Hubbard has just released!
I left the test center passed all the other people quietly doing their tests going "I DONT BELEIVE I GOT AN 'F' IN HAPPINESS!! THAT SUCKS!!" I'll have to scan it somewhere so you can have a look.
Mind you, there may be something in it as Rob was quite put out by his psycho-analysing and told the bloke to go no further (his graph jumped sharply all over the place). Also, chatting later on, one of the other guys in the hostel got a happy score of -94/100!
Maybe I did come off OK...
We spent the night getting drunk in a bar off Hollywood Blvd called Boardners. I think being in a yank bar (of which of seen loads in the movies) has made me feel more like im in America!
I think the fake busty blonde barmaid may have helped too...